Adjustments

This week, I have been miserable. This week was preceded by last week, during which I was also miserable. One must always stay vigilant and take care of one’s well-being. I am still learning. My work is very busy and I consume a lot of energy daily. I still don’t understand how much I should eat when my lifestyle is so busy. So I didn’t eat enough. And certain thoughts came back. I was very very disappointed in myself. As a perfectionist I always want to do correctly, always want things go the way I planned. When they do not, it’s *always* my fault.

What a silly thought! Lots of people probably don’t eat enough during the day. Lots of people seem to be cranky at work….at least some of that must be connected to under-dining. Of course, there are elements of the proletariat reality that cause anxiety anyway, regardless of how much a person eats or rests or whatever, but I could hella sure cope with those anxieties a lot better if I just ate better and had better cognitive functions and energy levels.

When I don’t eat enough during the day I am exhausted after a busy day at work. I don’t have the energy to do anything after the working day so I go home to lie on the couch and be miserable. This is not advisable to a person like myself. I thrive off things to do. I have to have things to do to keep sane. I love my hobbies, they are my life. But if I don’t have the energy to cultivate my outside-of-work interests, my life shrinks into nothing but my work and sofa. That’s a pretty non-stimulating environment, especially if elements of one’s job are troubling (and they are). I thought I had found my dream job, but alas, the reality was unlike I thought. In cases like this it’s so important to have other things than just work in one’s life. And the energy to do them.

Tomorrow I will have been in my job for exactly a month. A month is quite a short time to adjust to a new situation and I am not heartbroken that I haven’t been so good at it so far. I make corrections and adjustments. I will find a way to cope with the strain of the job and I will find time for the things that keep me going. Taking breaks is something I learned last week: I was having trouble taking my coffee break because ‘it was so busy’. I didn’t take my break for the first two weeks. Then I learned that if I wish to remain burnout-free, I must take my break. The busy will continue. There will always be never-ending work to do. That work will still be there after my 15 mins and coffee. However, my health, it’s not a constant. I have to, have to, have to, take care of it.

Talking, writing, dining, walking in forests, sleeping. Those are my top tips to survive the unnatural world of gainful employment. I need to pay my rent, but most of all, I need to put myself and my health at #1. That is today’s magic lesson dear readers, much like the previous lessons, but hey, as my taste in music indicates, I am a fan of repetition.

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